2021; You tested me in ways I never knew I could be tested, let own survive.
I learned that I can’t control everything in life and to respect fate & destiny because there’s nothing I can do about either.
I now understand all about the power of believing, hoping, praying, having a positive mindset and practicing gratitude daily.
I realised I had to trust the journey ahead of me and to accept that no matter the outcome, I’d have to be willing to face it head on instead of running away. I also realised that unfortunately not everybody in my life has learnt this lesson yet.
I literally felt a weight lift off my shoulders as soon as I finally accepted that not everybody in this world wants to change their destructive ways, and that’s not my problem to take on.
I had no choice but to process things I didn’t want to accept, things I’ll never get answers to and to push through emotions I cannot put a name to.
I decided to choose hope over fear, every minute of every day and willingly throw myself into the unknown.
I found comfort in searching for new ways to honour a life that we created then lost, and build connections on the basis of similar tragedy.
I set boundaries that not everyone understood, but were very much needed.
I’m proud that I continued to speak when words were hard to find, even harder to hear and uncomfortable for some.
I can’t help but feel overwhelmed moving into a new year without Chayce, it feels like we are moving further away from him. But then again, every day without him is equally as overwhelming, which just makes me more determined to share his story and to keep saying his name.
2021; you were not what I ever imagined, but I thank you anyway for all the valuable lessons, (even the ones I preferred not to have ever needed), and challenging me in ways I’ll never understand.
Most importantly, thank you for bringing us our Tilly girl. We really needed her.
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