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Definition of Heart Broken.

Updated: Apr 3, 2022

In my experience the most commonly used and the most familiar adjective that we tend to resort to using to explain how we feel after a tragic event in our lives, would be; heart broken

"How heartbreaking"

"My heart breaks for you"

"I am so heart broken"

"I'm sorry to hear of your heart breaking story"

Don't get me wrong, I've used all these lines before, on numerous occasions. Going through the loss of my son over the last 6 months, I've come to realise.. What else does one say?!? There's nothing else we can say. As far as I am aware, there is no other response available that we can utilise.

But I feel as though there should be a stronger adjective that we can use that clearly articulates the intensity of such a tragic loss.

Or maybe because 'heart broken' is thrown around so often and generally exaggerated, that it’s therefore lost it’s significance and maybe that's why it doesn't feel right to use it in my situation.

I do know that when I am asked a question about my story, I find that inserting the words 'heart broken’ into my response, just does not feel powerful enough to paint a clear picture of how I actually feel.

Even when people say to me "Oh, I am so sorry for your loss.. That's a heart breaking story", though I totally agree with them, in the back of my mind I always think.. but it's more than just that.

How does one emphasis on the fact your heart has actually been broken?

I remember the point my heart literally broke in half, following into pieces. The pain cannot be described and you wouldn't believe me anyway, unless you have experienced it yourself.

This simple definition above, doesn't even come close to explaining the feelings that overcome you and take over your entire being, when you lose a child, when you birth your baby who will never cry. It's a really terrifying experience and is worthy of it‘a own unique way to describe it.

I’m all of the below, combined.. simultaneously.. every single day. And probably will be for the rest of my life.

· Aching

· Broken

· Depressed

· Devastated

· Dire

· Disappointed

· Distressed

· Dreadful

· Drowning

· Exhausted

· Grief-stricken

· Gutted

· Heavy-hearted

· Inconsolable

· Longing

· Mournful

· Nervous wreck

· Overwhelmed

· Sad

· Shattered

· Sinking

· Sorrowful

· Suffering

· Terrified

· Traumatized

· Uneasy

· Woeful

· Wrecked

· Yearning

Not only is it challenging enough battling these intense emotions on a daily basis, it's made worse by not being able to pin point a word for it. It drives me insane.

There has got to be a more suitable response that sums all of this up, other than just, ‘heart-broken’.

Perhaps I just haven't found it yet?

Maybe it simply is just 'mourning' or 'grieving' and I'm overthinking.. as per usual.

Regardless, did you know Google tells me there are over 171,476 words currently being used in the English language? All I need is 1 that encapsulates entirely how I feel.

Why cant I find it? Does it even exist? ..

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