d be lying if I said I didn’t think about being with my Angel son.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want to live; I love my life.
I love everything I have to look forward to and I love being with my daughter.
But that’s the thing about baby loss; To be with one, means you go without the other.
And no one can be expected to be okay with that.
But I have to try and be.
Being a loss Mum means you’re always looking for that ‘thing’ to make your heart full again.
But it’s not a thing, it’s a person.
And there’s no point looking, because you know exactly where it is.
It doesn’t matter how much love and joy you have in front of you.
And you can be grateful to the ends of the Earth for what you do have.
But that hole can only be be filled with what’s waiting for you on the other side, when it’s your time.
And it’s not my time yet.
So yes, I wonder all the time.
I long for what’s ahead for me.
And I dream about that day.
But I’m also happy staying exactly where I am.
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