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10 Things That Have Helped Me On My Baby Loss Journey, so far.

Updated: Apr 3, 2022

My 5 daily thoughts:

1️⃣ No pain or suffering

My darling baby boy, Chayce, was not ever in any pain and he never knew suffering. If he were here today it wouldn’t have been possible to rule out either of those possibilities. In fact we know, every day would have been a struggle for him one way or another. He would have had to fight hard every single day of his life to stay alive and nobody would known how long he would have stayed Earth-side with us for. Nothing was guaranteed for him. As much as I want him here in my arms, it brings me comfort knowing he will never have to endure any pain or discomfort and he was never scared or alone.

2️⃣ Building Chayce‘s Legacy

I have to pinch myself at how many people we have managed to reach in such a short space of time and how many people know Chayce’s name. When I feel down, I remember the legacy we are building for our boy and it brings me so much happiness and it honestly keeps me going.

By honouring Chayce in the way that we do, he has made an impact on so many people and has already touched so many lives. This makes me so incredibly proud. Chayce was the only reason why we hit the road and did a bucket list 4 month East Coast trip. Chayce is the only reason I found the courage to start this blog.

Chayce is the only reason why I reconnected back on to social media after all those years.

Chayce is the only reason why I invested into a business, to try and change the future for our family.

3️⃣ Reminding myself I am a Mother and that its my favourite title

Even though I lost Chayce, he made me a Mother. I always knew I wanted to be a mum, but he made that possible for me and I’m so grateful he is mine. My first child.

Chayce only ever knew the comfort of me, as his mum and that makes me smile and cry at the same time. He knew me better than anyone.

He taught me so many lessons in motherhood and in other aspects of my life, while I was pregnant, when he entered the world and he continues to teach me lessons even though he is no longer here. He made me a mother at 26 years old. He was born at 26 weeks gestation. I was in labour for 26 hours but I’ll love him forever.

4️⃣ Finding Peace

I challenge myself everyday to find some sort of peace. It’s a work in progress and it takes a whole lot of personal development and self love. I try and keep an eye out on a sign that Chayce is around. This could be seeing a butterfly, seeing the clock strike 10:10, 11:11, 12:12 etc., it could be when the date for something important is on the 24th of the month (he was born on 24.12.2020). Even just small things like when something bizarre happens throughout my day, I like to think its him playing with me. I look at his photo every day and remind myself to breathe and ask for his forgiveness. I talk to him in my head and have conversations with him. It eventually calms me down even after a good cry. I'm learning to face my triggers and tell myself they are signs that Chayce is putting in my path because he wants me to see them, instead of focusing on what I am missing out on and getting upset. I've learnt this is the only way I will remain even just somewhat sane.

5️⃣ I look after myself now more than ever - Mentally, physically, emotionally, personally and sometimes even spiritually.

As selfish as this may sound, I do what I need to do, whenever I need to do it. I listen to my body so much more these days. I had to learn to trust what my body needs and provide it with exactly that. This healing process has really put things into perspective for me and gave me a harsh wake up call because I used to neglect my needs as an individual. I have to take care of myself, physically, mentally, emotionally and personally, before I put my energy into anybody else.

I have only returned to work 4 days a week, because that’s all I can handle right now. I take at least an hour a day for myself to relax, whether that’s just a bath, to journal and practice gratitude.

I unfollow any profiles that I find too triggering, although this is happening less and less these days.

I write my blogs to share MY experiences, without worrying about other judgement from anyone else. I have recently invested into a business opportunity, despite other peoples advice because my gut told me to.

I only use my reserved energy on relationships that bring me positivity and happiness and I have finally set boundaries for those that do not, including loved ones.

My 5 daily actions:

1️⃣I write everyday. I may not post on the blog everyday but I’m always writing and getting my thoughts out of my head. It's been the best therapy for me (and the cheapest)

2️⃣I take anti-depressants (yep I’m not ashamed) it’s been 6 months now and I’m so glad I listened to my doctor when she suggested it all those months ago. I almost declined the offer out of pride and because I never ever thought I would require them.

3️⃣We take Chayce and his soft bunny 'Junior' with us everywhere we go. When we are travelling we take him to beautiful places that some people only dream of going. They have a permanent spot in the centre console of our car so they never miss out on our adventures.

4️⃣We are working towards raising awareness and funds on both baby loss and his rare diagnosis called Costello Syndrome, by sharing his story with the world.

5️⃣ I connect with other loss mums everyday and get to hear of other peoples stories of their beautiful angels and it brings me comfort in a strange way, to know that I am not alone.

I'd love to hear what helps other baby loss mums through their journey. It's a long road. Never ending actually!

Empowering Loss Mamas to Honour their Angel Baby/s by Building a Profitable Online Business & Legacy, with no prior experience required. Does a Side Hustle sound appealing? Book a 30 minute no obligation FREE Discovery Call with me to learn more (via Zoom)

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1 Comment

Struggling to find the right words here… You and Mark made the right decision for Chayce. It may not have been the right decision for you but for him it was.

Chayce is super proud of you both. He is with you each and everyday. Chayce watches over his mummy to make sure she is ok. Whatever ok is….

Your story about Chayce is both beautiful and heartbreaking- he is one lucky little boy to have you both as he parents. You will always be a mother. Chayce’s mum. Chayce’s dad too.

I love that Chayce goes with you. His little bunny too. Don’t ever stop talking about Chayce… he is a huge part of your life.

Here for you…

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